Not Me

Am I that easy for you to think of me as a target?

Am I that foolish for you to drop mischievous words?

Am I that of a joke for you to treat me like one?

You’re just wasting your time and most importantly, you’re wasting mine.

If you want to play games, I am not up for it.

If you want to cast a spell on me, nice try, ’cause I’m not falling for it.

Don’t mess with me.

Please, not me.

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What my Sunday consisted of. Ah, Sundays are the best.

Marilyn

I figured that there is more than meets the eye.

We’ve always seen Marilyn as that ethereal mortal goddess that lived shortly because of her untimely death. We’ve always viewed her as an icon of beauty & sexuality. We’ve known her for the countless magazines that she posed for, movies that she starred in & controversies that was linked to her. But, she’s more than that.

Marilyn, behind the “dumb blonde” roles she was famously known for, was an intelligent woman with distinct ambitions in life. Just like every one of us who has a dream, she, too, strives to do everything that she could in order to reach for her aspirations. Behind her warm smile was a lonesome heart that yearns to be loved, the real kind of love. People during her time, other than obsessing over her physique, ridiculed her for showcasing impurity and vulgarity in the public eye. People actually thought that she was as two dimensional like the characters she would play in her movies, which she isn’t. It’s sad that she would make multiple efforts to prove that she could do more. Actually, what’s more sad about it is that she tries to prove everyone that she’s more than what they think of her even though she doesn’t even need to prove it to anyone because she’s already a great person to begin with!

There may be countless speculations about her until this very day, yet I choose to admire her nonetheless. I don’t admire her because she’s beautiful or that she has the kind of body one would dream of, maybe those are just bonus factors when it comes to liking her. I salute her as she continued to stand with integrity though she gets plenty of criticisms. I admire how she managed to plaster a smile in front of everyone as if she didn’t go through a lot throughout her life. Despite of her setbacks, she still continued to fight on. Such qualities of her must be paid attention other than her dashing looks and the tabloids she used to face.

Marilyn Monroe may have gone to the other side, but still her memory lives on.

For the ever admirable and iconic Marilyn Monroe and the fight that she fought.

 

April, So Far

April’s almost over in a week or so and I just can’t wait to end the vacation. I’m only saying this ’cause I’ve ran out of things to do & the summer heat is starting to become unbearable that I’d wish to be inside of a refrigerator. I’m the type of person who complains about wanting to go on vacation whenever I have school & wanting to go to school during vacation. I can be pretty ironic at times (most of the time, actually). Despite my urge of wanting to be busy again, I’ll just make the most out of my summer vacation instead since I am quite sure that once the school year starts, I won’t be able to have some decent rest.

Anyways, during the first few weeks of my vacation, I started watching Goblin and can I just say how everything about it is so perfect? The cast, the storyline, the soundtrack (YAS), EVERYTHING. I am basically fangirling right now while I’m typing this. Speaking of its soundtrack, it really just blew me away and it made me discover an artist that I consider to be a gem in the Korean music industry, it’s Sam Kim! To those of you who don’t know him, well, he’s a Korean-American singer-songwriter under the record label of Antenna Music, Yoo Hee-yeol’s record company. Listen to some of his songs like Mama Don’t Worry & Your Song and maybe you’ll get to understand what I’m trying to point out here. Because of Sam Kim, I also get to discover a female artist that’s in the same record company as his, she is Kwon Jin-ah. Listening to her song with Sam Kim, For Now and her own song, The End instantly made me like her & her music.

Fun fact: Both Sam Kim and Kwon Jin-ah joined K-pop Star 3! Sam was the runner up and Jin-ah was in third place. 

Let me just remind you all that I’m no professional critic, I recommend music that is according to my preference just because I want to, not to gain attention or whatsoever petty reason that is. If you don’t like it, well, don’t mind it and focus somewhere lolllll

 

En Route

The past few days I’ve been taking a trip down to Memory Lane, a place that I often drop by to take some moment to sight see and reminisce. This time, I was en route to the streets of Harsh Memories. Whenever I go there, most of the time, it is unexpected; as if I was transported there with no further notice. I guess teleporting is quite a trend here in Memory Lane. There were large glass windows that you can easily see past through them, of course, they’re glass. As I pass by each and every one of them, I’d see people staring at me constantly as if they were judging me, monitoring every move that I make. They would murmur and point at me. Whenever I’d look in their direction, they’d act as if they’ve done nothing wrong when it fact they’ve done a lot behind my back. The long walk passing by those windows would make me weary, yet I don’t stop, not even once. I start to sweat, cold sweat. I’ve gone anxious to the fact that so many eyes were directed to me. I don’t get how they were whispering yet I could hear them even at a far distance. I wonder to myself how I was just only walking yet they have a lot to say. It made me conscious. Was I walking in a funny manner? Is something wrong with my behind? What is it? Why? Staying for a long time in Harsh Memories was enough and I decided to leave. Just a small reminder, don’t take a souvenir with you.

The Reminder of The Thing You Said You’d Do

Try and remember what you said you’d do and why you said you’d do it.

Forget what you think other people want the thing you said you’d do to be.

The thing you said you’d do should only be what you want the thing you said you’d do to be.

If the thing you said you’d do makes other people happy, that’s great but don’t say things or do things just to make them happy.

Find new ways to do the thing you said you’d do that don’t change the meaning of what you said you’d do.

Have the purest of intentions for what you said you’d do and do it bravely.

If the thing you said you’d do becomes successful, continue to act and think like it is unsuccessful, otherwise you’ll spend your time worrying that it might become unsuccessful.

If you said you’d involve people in the thing you said you’d do, listen to them when they say what they think you should do.

If you said you’d do the thing you said you’d do alone, then go boldly into the wilderness and may your own soul be company enough, while you do the thing you said you’d do.

Do right by the thing you said you’d do. Tend to it and love it.

By trying to remember what you said you’d do and the reason why you said you’d do it.

 

-I. S. Thomas

Today was such an eventful day.

As much as I want to detail every single bit of what we did today, let me just say that randomly picking up a book & to open it up as if I stepped into a whole new universe was one of my greatest decisions so far.

Thank you for the reminder.

J x

 

That Day

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It was during that day I spent some of my time alone. It was during that day that the sky seemed to be like the heavens. It was during that day that the branches were like nerves. It was during that day that the walk all the way home wasn’t that tiring. It was during that day that I felt serenity.  The 7th of April, it was that day.

The Note That Came Out of Nowhere

It was during my 3rd year in High School when it happened. At that time, I was in a miserable state. It’s as if all the hope in this world has gone in the drain for good. Helpless and hopeless, there was nothing to expect from life itself. As I was walking along the empty halls alongside with my colleagues and upperclassmen, we stumbled upon a pink note.

Hold On, Pain Ends

Four words, yet those numbered words woke me up from idleness. Four words yet it managed to vanish the fears & worries that I have for tomorrow. Four simple words that made me feel at ease.

Universe, is this how you speak to me? Big Guy, are you really there to watch over me? 

Fast forward to the present and I could only just laugh with how things were before. The pain was worth it after all.

Show Me

Show me

the most damaged

parts of your soul,

and I will show you

how it still shines like gold.

Show Me Your Soul, Nikita Gill

Show me your cluttered thoughts and I will still find it beautiful. Show me your wounds and I will kiss the pain goodbye. Show me your doubts and I will clear them out for you. Show me your struggles and we’ll struggle together. Show me your fears and I will prove that there’s nothing to be afraid of, as long as you’re with me.

You Happened

My hands were just hands; now it’s the bridge that connects me to you. Arms, yours and mine, were just limbs until they became branches that binds us together as we wrap ourselves with it. Eyes were just eyes until they became a window of countless galaxies that I could gaze for hours. The places we went to weren’t just places anymore, they’re places that contains memories that no one could ever replace. The songs were just words with harmonies & melodies until it became love letters made especially for you. The emptiness was just darkness, now, it became me without you. Emotions were just chemicals in our temples that is yet to be explained yet now, they’re the ones that led me to you. Thoughts were just thoughts until you became a part of it. Things were just things until you held it. You was just you until it became an us.

Everything that seemed nothing became something and it’s all because you happened.